Ok I Need To Talk About This; A Collective Rant By Alicia Xyrakis…. Seriously Enough With The Pouting!

Seriously enough with the pouting. My Instagram feed is full of women making duck faces and I don’t see the attractiveness in it. I honestly think all women are so much more beautiful when they smile or just be normal. I get that a little pout or kiss to the camera is fun and cute now and then, or when you’re mucking around and being silly. But when the same fake face is being pulled in every single picture? C’mon cut me a break! No one walks around looking like that! Seriously am I missing something? Because I honestly don’t see the appeal to it.  Instead of showing our own individual personalities in these pictures and moments captured, why are we now all trying to pull the same face and look the same way! Which brings me to my next point…

Why does everyone look like Kim or Kylie Kardashian? And why is everyone so fascinated by them? When Kim first came onto the scene we loved her because she was a different type of beautiful to what we were used to seeing.  Instead of being tall, skinny with blonde hair and blue eyes, she had these great curves, big features, dark hair, it was refreshing. And Keeping Up With The Kardashians was a fun bit of junk TV.  But now it’s grown into a monster! The amount of influence and power this family has is crazy! And I don’t get it! I don’t get the fascination, I don’t get why everyone wants to know their every move. I don’t get why Kim’s new beauty product sells out in three hours making her $19 million (AUD) WTF!? And now every woman, teenager and young girl want their perfect little individual face to be contoured. Contouring is an age old makeup artist trick, which has its time and place for being used, and yes can definitely work wonders.  But 16 year old girls don’t need their faces contoured on daily basis. It adds years onto their dewy, youthful faces. In fact no one needs their face contoured like Kimmy K on a daily basis.  And while I definitely think it’s great that Kimmy K has helped a lot of young women embrace their curves and love their big bums; it now comes attached with a whole new type of unachievable body standard too.

Big bum, big boobs, flat tummy and teeny tiny waist.  It’s no lie that the hour glass figure has always been considered the most desirable look for women. But now this is on a whole new unattainable level. Seriously ladies… Waist Trainers?? You do realise a Waist Trainer is really just a corset. And I’m not talking the fashion type of corset that you wear over a shirt to look cool. I mean like the ones from the Victorian Era where women wore corsets that they laced up very tightly to create teeny tiny waists, because this was the desirable body shape for women…oh wait… Hmm I really thought we had evolved passed that.

Which brings me to my next point. It is so so great that there is such a big focus these days on eating a healthy balanced diet and exercising.  But why do we always have to take it to extremes! I see so many women and men these days who are all about that clean eating gym life and all about how “healthy” they are, but then use things like pre-trainers and supplements and spend so much money on things like detox teas, meal replacements, weight suppressant tablets, body wraps and anything else that promises to make them look like a fitness model. But really what’s so healthy about doing that to your body?  You only have one body to take you through this life. Nourish it. Move it. Be kind to it.

And I know sometimes it’s hard to love our bodies, ourselves, our lives our jobs, our relationships. Especially when we’re constantly being told what our lives should look like! Drowning under #bodygoals #fitspo #lifegoals #relationshipgoals #goals on everything except actual soccer goals splashed across our social media feeds! Well I’m here to just remind you that INSTAGRAM LIFE ISN’T REAL!!! Oh and I’m sorry I didn’t realise having a tan was one of life’s goals too #tangoals.  Oops I’ve been too busy trying to create something meaningful with my life and in my relationships. All this time I should have just been getting spray tans!  And I’m so breaking up with Jordan because he doesn’t send me boxes of 100 long stemmed roses or surprise me with trips to Paris on a private jet. Or take me to events where I can wear Swarovski covered gowns. Sorry J man… the constant everyday love and support isn’t enough… #couplegoals.  You know, raising a family isn’t easy… It’s not dress ups, mothers groups, making raw organic chocolate slices with the kids and morning family sleep ins like the Insta mums on your feed. I’m not a mum, but I have lots of friends who are and a few mini nephews. That shit is fucking hard. I’m not looking at getting myself into that any time soon.  Those “Insta mums” that make it look so easy. I guarantee you its not! I guarantee you they have some sort of millions of dollars #familygoals.

I say it once, I say it it twice, don’t make me say it a second time (yes its a Wog Boy reference)… People only post their highlight reels on insta! The things they want you to see! No one is going to post a picture with oily hair and baby vomit on their top while their husband is working late so they’ve fed the family rice with tuna (because who can be fucked doing more when you have your personal training session in 8 hours #postbabybodygoals). Or who’s going to announce that they haven’t had sex with their husband for three months as he’s most likely having an affair? (But at least he brought you home a new Chanel Le Boy! Right? #Relationshipgoals.)

You get what I’m saying ladies, don’t be jealous of someone else life, especially one you see on Instagram. Because you have no idea what they could really be going through.

Which brings me to my next point… Ha! It’s all related. Why does everyone call their husband/partner their “best friend” and then talk to them like a piece of shit.  Like I’ve heard some couples speak so mean to each other. Name calling, screaming, barking orders, telling off. You would never talk to a stranger like that, or a girlfriend, so why do you talk to your best friend/partner like that?  I get it, they’re always around, when you’re in a good mood or a bad mood, when you’ve had the shittest day or just extremely hangry, your partner is there. They just happen to always be there and be in the firing line. Who else can you let your anger out in front of and know that they will still love you. We all have our moments of weakness and we snap. But c’mon, that doesn’t make it ok.

And that no longer leads me to any other points…even though I’m sure I could go on. However I think that’s enough for one day.

Moral of the story is, you do you! Love your life, your family, your partner, yourself and your body everyday for what it is. Don’t compare yourself to others. Do what you know is good for you and best for you! Don’t let anyone else’s hashtag goals get in your way. And stop watching Keeping Up With The Kardashians, you’re just adding fuel to the Kardashian World Domination flame…

But I have to admit the Kimoji’s are pretty funny.

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